Big Boxes

Amazon boxes are piling up in the garage entrance of our house. Big boxes that held big things. Big boxes that held little tiny things. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of logic behind what goes into where. Kind of like an orgy when everyone is on acid.


(So I’m told.)


We are not indiscriminately buying stuff. We bought a thermometer that you hold up to your forehead and it tells you if you are alive or a zombie.


(Independent thought. Why is zombie spelled with an “ie” and not a “Y”?


Is it because spelling it like “zomby” might make them seem too cuddly, like Skippy who lives next door? Only this Skippy will chew your face off to get at your brains?)


Back to buying stuff. Sorry.
We bought some work out stuff so we can look at it sitting in the corner and say “Well, it’s not like we’re not trying.”


We bought some up lights for the yard. I haven’t weeded for quite a while because of the heat…but at least now, at night, our weeds look magnificent.


That got me thinking.


What’s the best and worst thing you ever bought?


The best thing I ever bought was this huge metal “tree” that sits in my studio and all my guitars hang on it. Everyone who has ever walked into my studio sees it and says “Hey! Where’d you get that? I could sure use one of those.”


Then I tell them that they can buy this one from me but so far no one has met by price. I bought it twenty five years ago in Rochester New York at House of Guitars. 75 bucks. I figure by now the thing has to be worth $250,000.00.


The worst thing I ever bought?


A 67 Mustang.


I wanted one my whole life but when I finally bought one I bought it to have a project. I was going to fix it up and sell it and double my money. Let’s consider that for a moment, shall we?


I know nothing about cars. I have no real expertise in tools.


Sure enough I got took and I got took real bad. The seller managed to make it run long enough to get it most of the way into my driveway. When he left he assured me that 67 Mustangs likebeing half in and half out of garages. When I began what was suppose to be the long laborious process of restoring it, I learned something valuable.


To restore something you need to have at least 50% of the original thing to work with.


This car was 85% bondo and duct tape. For those of you that, like me, have no experience in restoring cars….bondo is plastic filler that you use to replicate sections of cars that are missing due to traumatic accidents or explosions.


After a few months of discovery, what was left of my classic car was worth about a third of what I paid for it. And I was thrilled to get that much. I think the guy that bought it from me wanted a go-cart for his kids.


What did I learn from both of these experiences? Collectively, nothing. One was bad…one was good. One was about 75 bucks and lasted for twenty five years…one was 3 grand and was gone in a month. I am searching for some lesson here but the only lesson I can come up with is: Don’t wait till the last minute to write email musings.
Oh, there’s the doorbell. Amazon!!!